If you’re in the mood to read happy fluffy stuff about the care, feeding, and birth of an anthology, that post is over on Susan J. Berger’s blog. In it I discuss what reasons are good for a group to put out an anthology, what benefits it brings to already established, best-selling authors, and what I learned during the process, please check it out.

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7 Ways to Support #BlackLivesMatter and Be a Good Ally (for my white friends)

1) It’s not about you, and it’s not about your husband/brother/other loved one who is a conscientious and careful police officer. #BlackLivesMatter doesn’t mean ONLYBlackLivesMatter, or that it’s #BLM vs. the police. You can support the police, not want them to be killed, AND want there to be police accountability, better training, and that those who mistreat POC, the mentally ill, and others get kicked off the force rather than be protected by the thin blue wall of silence.

#BlackLivesMatter is about drawing attention to and trying to change the ongoing, systemic racial bias that impacts policing, the judicial system, employment, housing, and and and.  Here’s an excellent post with statistics by J.B.W. Tucker.

2) Self-educate on the issues and how you can help. Our exhausted friends who are POC don’t have the time and energy to spoonfeed us anti-racism 101 (though they are trying gallantly, anyway).

3) Don’t cry, excessively apologize, or in any other way seek attention or a gold star on your mental “good person” chart from a POC. They are suffering grief, pain, worry, and PTSD. They don’t deserve to be saddled with comforting white people because we have uncomfortable feels right now.

4) If you are white, you might be sick of hearing about white privilege and being asked to check it. Trust me, POC are even more sick of living without it. Too often sick or injured, literally to death.

If you have ever been the lone white person in a group of black, Hispanic, Asian, or other not-white group, how unsettling did it feel? Now imagine that is your life, every single day, and you have a little glimpse at what it’s like to be a minority person in America. Except that instead of mere discomfort, your life and those of people you love are at higher risk.

5) If you like to think of yourself as a “good person,” but “don’t want to get involved or be RUDE,” by calling out the openly racist people you know on their shit, you might want to rethink that. If you believe in “Keep America Beautiful,” but don’t speak up when you see your friends litter, you’re tacitly approving and endorsing that behavior.

6) If People of Color are speaking, STFU and LISTEN. Do not talk over, interrupt, or otherwise marginalize POC, especially right now. Put your hand over your mouth, or step away from your phone or keyboard, if you have to.

7) Limit as much as possible your whitesplaining to forums where you are a white person talking to other white people. Instead, as much as possible, support and amplify the voices of POC by sharing their experiences via social media and in conversation to other white people.

Closing with something from Sex Positive World:

We are living through painful and challenging times.

Forces for positive change are clashing with older, repressive cultures who refuse to accept change. People are dying as a result of hate-filled actions. Muslim people in Turkey, Bangladesh, Iraq and Saudi Arabia; LGBTQ people in Orlando; cafe-goers in Paris, police officers in Dallas, American People of Color… everywhere. Our hearts ache with the weight of every death, every one of these ridiculous, needless acts of violence.

Sex Positive World believes, as Maya Angelou said, that Hate has caused a lot of problems in the world, but it has not solved one yet. We believe in human connection, in love, in juicy sexual connection, in active consent and consideration of all human beings for one another.

We encourage all our members to check in with one another and offer love, consideration and support to anyone who is personally touched or triggered by these traumatizing events. We encourage our members to take a social media hiatus, if necessary – and good for you for taking care of yourselves! Or, please, ask for support from your SPW tribe, if you need it.

People may say things at this time, without fully considering the impact of their words. Please try to give the benefit of the doubt, and assume positive intent. Ask for clarification (did you actually mean XYZ?) when unsure. Allow for the fact that some might blurt out words of frustration and anger. Maybe respond with a hug?

We encourage all our members and friends to be kind, sensitive, and loving to everyone we can, during these challenging and painful times.

Please count this post as me checking in on you.
How are you feeling in these emotionally rough times?
Your thoughts?